Cum depasesti un moment jenant la serviciu

We all have difficult moments in our professional lives, especially when we make efforts to stay on top of our careers and we are also engaged in the everyday job of being parents almost full-time, for two, three or even four children. It often happens that you miss interviews because you don't wake up, you miss deadlines or important meetings because you have moments of mental block, you simply get stuck on the steps when you're about to make an important presentation, you send messages to the wrong groups , to use the wrong words and get into embarrassing situations, and the list of examples can go on.

When you experience such a moment and analyze it from a career perspective, you have the impression that you will never recover from something like this and that all your efforts until now will go down the drain. There are people who can naturally get over blunders and mistakes, while others are overwhelmed by the moment, they can't overcome it easily and they can't find the perfect answer to get them out of the discomfort.

But, over time, you realize that no matter how prepared you are for something, mistakes are part of life. No blunder or wrong step should ruin your whole day or send you into a self-critical spiral. Everyone makes mistakes, but we can take a step back and remain calm in a crisis situation. Below is a quick guide to bounce back from an embarrassing moment, get over your resentments and move on with confidence. And bonus, some tips to stop putting too much value on what others think about you.

Breathe deeply

No matter what happens, when you are embarrassed your first response will most likely be to hide and punish yourself. Change things! If the skid causes you a state of panic and excessive worries, try to slow down your heart rate by taking deep breaths. Start with conscious breathing and do your best to establish a sense of calm in your mind and soul.

Treat yourself with understanding and compassion

Remember that things could have been much worse. You fell asleep in a meeting, but you could have snored and drooled from your mouth... You spilled water on the conference table, but you could have spilled it over a stack of extremely important documents or, worse, over a electrical outlet. You tripped on stage, but you could have seriously injured yourself. You were able to get up, shake and laugh, and that's the most important thing. Learn to see the good side of everything!

Understand what happened and accept your mistake

How did everything go? It is possible that no one has really noticed all those details that are vivid and obvious to you. It is very possible for you to exaggerate these details in your mind. If you have to apologize, correct or clean up something after an embarrassing moment, do it so that the situation is closed. It's true that it's easier said than done and most of the time we prefer to hide the situation than to face it, but don't forget that closure helps you move on.

Make fun of trouble

Some of the most embarrassing moments we go through are actually very funny and it's very possible that they have happened to others, but you have to be willing to look at them from this perspective! Every work environment needs more fun. Try to do this and when the time is right, don't refrain from making fun of the trouble! Rasul has many benefits, including increasing the intake of oxygen-rich air, reducing stress and increasing productivity.

Tell a friend, but avoid ruminating in a negative way

If you can't leave behind the embarrassing moment and your mind feels the need to ruminate on it non-stop, talk about this moment with a trusted friend. Don't just listen to what he tells you, but also pay attention to his body language and facial expressions, which will probably be full of empathy. Everyone lives and deals with embarrassment differently. But we don't have to do it alone. Simple words, like "Oh, it could happen to me at any time!" I can offer you the comfort you need on the spot.

Think about something else

If you're not ready to talk to a friend yet, do something to keep your mind occupied. Whether you're watching a movie, listening to music or exercising, get involved in anything else. Distractions help your ego. Whatever you do, don't dwell on the situation for hours on end by yourself.

You will definitely feel embarrassed at some point in your career. The worst thing you can do after that is to do a whole series of conscience processes and bury yourself in criticism. It's not productive to invalidate your feelings or use your mistakes as an index of your worth. You did something that attracted some kind of attention that you didn't want and it's perfectly reasonable to hide for a while. But come out of hiding! Mistakes don't define you, they make you human. And professionals are people. We could all appreciate our imperfections more, just like we do with our strengths.

How to stop caring about the opinion of others?

When you are in embarrassing situations, especially if they tend to repeat themselves in a certain period, you have the feeling that everyone is watching you, that you are bothering them... You start to hold back your opinions and worry about everything what you say or do

When you stop thinking about what others think about you, you have freedom, confidence in yourself and emotional stability and metal. When you stop agonizing over other people's opinions, you will feel much more relaxed in the presence of others and thus build better relationships.

Build your self-esteem

Often, social anxiety, fear of rejection, insecurity are symptoms of a deeper problem: low self-esteem. Your self-esteem influences social comfort. With a healthy self-esteem, you will avoid situations that inhibit you. Low self-esteem keeps you stuck in a distorted reality.

Beyond affirmations or encouragement, you can also do courses, therapy or coaching, which will help you regain your self-esteem.

Stop looking for everyone's approval

The need for everyone to approve and praise you leads you to a situation where you always tend to show off your achievements, to become the center of attention, to say things just to make people like you. And to top it all off, you will only make them like you even less. And that will create an embarrassing, inauthentic and cumbersome communication.

A man who is always looking for approval will feel hurt and despised when he does not receive it, because self-esteem (yes, let's get back to it) depends on the opinion of others.
With a healthy self-esteem you will no longer look for the approval of others, because you already know who you are and what you can do and you don't need to be applauded all the time.

Pay attention to projections

It sometimes happens that we meet people who always judge and criticize us, spreading anger and malice wherever they pass. You have to understand that this attitude doesn't say anything about you, it says everything about them. This is what we call "projection" - when someone has an attribute, a state or a behavior, but - because he is not aware of it - he attributes it to others.

Although not everything a person says is a projection, be sure that if it is an offense with an emotional charge or a criticism without reason, that person is doing nothing but projecting their hatred on you. Understanding this, you will no longer take seriously what such a person tells you, but you will know that it is his problem.

Understand a powerful but simple truth

We often think that everyone is extremely focused on us - judging and criticizing what we do, what we wear and how we act - when, most of the time, people really don't care. We have this thinking because of what is called the "spotlight effect". People overestimate how much their actions and appearance are noticed by those around them. The reason for the spotlight effect is the innate tendency to forget that although you are the center of your own universe, you are not the center of the universe of others!

The reality: people are mostly too busy living their own lives, worrying about their problems and their future, and are less critical than we think.
When you understand this truth, you will know that you don't always have to walk on eggshells because you have the (wrong!) impression that everyone is paying attention to the way you walk.

Practice embarrassing situations

Like I said, people don't care about you as much as you think. But it's one thing to know it, and another to really live it. And no matter how crazy it sounds, try it on your own skin: see what it's like to feel embarrassed or uncomfortable. Put your emotions and assumptions to the test and prove to yourself that you can make a wrong step and you will see that you survive without problems after it.

Many of us feel embarrassed for things that really don't deserve to feel that way. We feel bad because we slip in public, or because we say the wrong word or because we send a message to the wrong Whatsapp group... And, paradoxically, we are not at all embarrassed to be bad, naughty or ignorant... Which has no sense!

Slightly exceed your limits and learn not to take yourself so seriously. Try to wear a slightly more colorful blouse one day or set a strange ringtone, wear a cartoon sticker on your phone so that everyone can see it, spill your coffee at the office from time to time, not to stand out, but to get used to more embarrassing situations. You will see that no one dies from this and, certainly, your career will not end because of this!