The art of receiving and giving gifts - what the code of good manners says

Gifts are made for the pleasure of the one who gives them, not the merit of the one who receives them.

Carlos Ruiz Zafon

Gifts are an occasion of joy, equally for the one who gives them and the one who receives them. With or without a special occasion, there are few people who do not smile when they receive a gift, regardless of its value. And the joy of giving from the heart is doubled by the reaction of the one for whom we do this gesture.

We might think that there is nothing complicated in giving or receiving a gift and that this aspect is not regulated. But things are not quite like that. Knowing what and how to give, but also knowing how to react when you receive a gift is practically an art. From the packaging, to the choice and the moment when we make this gesture, everything must be carefully thought out in advance, without forgetting that the details always make the difference.

The most important thing remains involvement. When you give something, it is said that you also give a part of yourself. Thus, the person who will enjoy your gesture will feel that he is special, that you did not choose the first thing you set your eyes on, but that you really thought about what would bring him joy. As long as your gift is a mirror of your good intentions and the feelings you have for the recipient, you will definitely be able to bring a smile to your face.

How to receive and give gifts, according to the code of good manners

There are certain written or unwritten codes that teach us how to make a gift, at what time, what it consists of and how to present it.

The first thing we have to do when choosing a gift is to think about what we are choosing. In this sense, we will have to take into account the nature and preferences of the person to whom we want to give it. In addition, the nature of the relationship we have with this person also matters.

Certain gifts, intimate, let's say, or that belong to the area of ​​fun, are given only to those close to you. We cannot afford to buy underwear for a colleague with whom we are not friends, even if we are women.

In general, it is not polite to offer clothes or toiletries to people who are not close to us. It is not advisable to buy the first perfume that comes our way, even if it is expensive, or a spray or a make-up kit, if we do not know the preferences of the one we want to offer them to.

In general, buying cosmetics or hygiene products is a risky thing. Tastes differ, so we can not only give a lot of money for something that will not be used, but also leave the impression that we chose the first thing that came our way to quickly get rid of the care of the gift.

It is good to consider that when you want to give something of greater material value, it is possible that the recipient will feel embarrassed. If he does not have a good social position, it is not polite to do this, and if he is a person with financial possibilities and you are not, he will worry that you made too much effort to give him such a gift.

When we offer a gift, in no case should we think of bulky objects, thinking that they will make an impression by the simple fact that they are big. Under no circumstances will we give gifts of items from the house that we do not like or that we do not use. Even more so if they are worn, even discreetly, or show traces of their use.

Another aspect that we must pay attention to is the price written many times on the products. It is a very bad gesture to give someone a gift that still has the price on the tag. Surely that person will feel very embarrassed and will attribute a wrong connotation to your gesture. Always pay attention to the prices on the gift bag.

There is no question of giving away pets, birds or other animals. We can afford to offer such a gift only if we know that the person in question wants a certain non-speaking companion. But even then, we have to ask beforehand. Any pet represents a responsibility and a change in the owner's way of life. So, it is good to avoid making such gestures, if we are not sure.

Giving books is a very nice gesture, appreciated especially by people for whom reading is neither a curse nor a ritual to be feared. They must be chosen very carefully, depending on the preferences we know the person to whom we want to offer them, and documenting ourselves so as not to offer them a volume that they already have or are reading.

We cannot give a book as a gift that we have not read, we do not know that it is wanted or that we have not received assurances that it is worth reading. Another very important aspect to take into account is that dedications and messages are never written in the book that we want to give as a gift. Only the author can write a dedication on a volume. If we have a message to convey, we will write it either in a greeting card, or on a business card or an elegant piece of paper, which we will slip between the pages of the book.

Flowers are an obligatory part of a gift for a representative of the fair sex. We do not offer flowers to men unless they are hospitalized. However, if we go to their home, or to an important event in their life, we can buy a bouquet for the wife. It is also not polite for a married man to offer flowers to a young lady.

Under no circumstances will we offer artificial flowers that do not belong in a home, no matter how successful they are.

The flowers are offered, before entering the house, at the door, with the tails up. These are not offered in the packaging in which they were bought, especially if they are roses, regardless of how beautifully they were packaged.

We must also be very attentive to the message that various flowers send, their color and their fragrance. For example, it is not advisable to offer some people, who live in a studio apartment, imperial lilies or tuberoses, which will make the air unbreathable.

Pearls, handkerchiefs, watches, mirrors, knives or religious objects are on the list of gifts that should not be given, as they are considered ominous signs of evil in most cultures. Last but not least, avoid offering money. It is extremely rude, and such a gesture is only accepted between family members, although even in this situation it is preferable to choose a gift that conveys something.

How do we receive a gift?

Receiving a gift is definitely a pleasure for each of us. And we must show this pleasure, so that the person who made a nice gesture for us feels that we are happy. The greatest reward for someone who gives a gift is the smile, the positive reaction of the one who receives it.

Regarding good manners, they say that any gift should be welcomed with joy, as long as it is not offered as pressure. This is actually the only reason why we can refuse a gift, which is not allowed in the rest of the situations. Gifts are not returned, flowers are not offered further in front of the person who brought them, and statements like "you bothered yourself too much" or "you shouldn't have given so much money for me" are not in good taste. Such impolite gestures can overshadow the joy of the person who wanted to make a nice gesture.

If we received flowers, they must be admired, put in water immediately and kept in the room where we are staying. And if we received candies or fruits, they will be unwrapped to serve everyone with them and they will be left on the table.

If we receive wrapped gifts, it is polite to open them, to see what they consist of, to thank and enjoy the gift, not to wait until the guests leave. In no case will we say that we don't like the color of an item of clothing or that the perfume received is not among our preferences. Regardless of what the received gift inspires, we must appreciate the gesture and know how to show it, without embarrassing the person who wanted to make us happy.

As you can see, there are some rules, related to politeness, in the art of receiving and giving gifts. But, the one with which we will not fail is that of giving from the heart.