Psihologia din spatele gestului de a oferi cadouri

On the surface, a gesture like giving or receiving a gift may seem like something simple, but for many people giving a gift can mean a lot of headaches, stress and even a state of anxiety.

The type of gifts you give says a lot about the relationship you have with the person receiving the gift, just as the fact that you forget to give a gift to a person who values ​​gifts in a romantic relationship can create a lot of problems for you . Gifts can be the main way you show your love - the main language of love.
So, what exactly is behind the act of giving a gift that can fill you with happiness or sadness?

Why do we offer gifts?

For some of us, the fact that we have to offer a gift to someone is just an obligation to fulfill. For others, on the other hand, it is a way to show their love and to connect on a deeper level with their loved ones. Here are some of the reasons behind the gifts.

Strengthening a relationship

A thoughtful gift is a way to show someone how well you know them.
The act of giving something to someone when they need it speaks volumes for how much you care about someone.
Along with an apology from the heart, the right gift can even help you compensate for a wrong behavior.
There are people who try to give carefully thought out gifts, especially to those people they feel distant from or know that they put a price on gifts.
But not everyone puts a price on gifts. Thus, if there are people in your family who say every year that they prefer not to receive any gifts, accept their decision, even if it is against the traditions that say that during the holidays it is nice to give gifts to your loved ones. Although you would feel good giving them a gift, for your relationship it is possible that your gesture will not do much good.

To make others happy

Most of the time parents are the ones who give gifts to children to make them happy. And finally... who doesn't like to see the happy face of a child when they open a gift that they wanted for a long time? That look is priceless! Gifts for children are some of the most sought after and appreciated and deserve all our attention.

To feel good about yourself

The act of giving a gift makes us feel good. Two recent studies in this regard have found that giving can give rise to feelings of satisfaction and can improve the duration of general happiness.
At the opposite end, a person with a strong competitive nature can use gifts as a way to always surpass a sibling, a colleague or even a life partner. This can lead to the same high level of happiness and personal satisfaction, because you feel that you are giving the best gift.

How to choose a well-thought-out gift

What is a carefully chosen gift?

If you give your son-in-law, for example, a chainsaw as a gift - even though he barely knows how to change a light bulb - he may feel offended. On the other hand, money can seem like a gift that you haven't thought much about, except for the situation where you know for sure that the person receiving the gift prefers to receive money instead of uninspired gifts.
Choosing carefully means attention and consideration for other people's needs. A carefully chosen gift does not necessarily have to be a total surprise, and its choice does not necessarily have to involve who knows how much time or energy. These are preconceived ideas that many of us have about gifts, when the reality is that many people prefer to receive gifts that they have either asked for or made it clear that they want them. You just have to pay attention to them!
No matter how close you think you are to your loved ones, be even more attentive to their needs and what they like, and if you manage to be attentive without asking additional questions, you will also keep the surprise factor when giving gifts.

Refusal to buy from a shopping list

In recent years, this tradition of gift lists in various stores or brands has also appeared here, either for events such as weddings or baptisms, or for anniversaries and birthdays. But not everyone chooses to take these lists into account when giving gifts.
Research shows that one of the reasons why people don't respect gift lists is that they consider themselves close enough to know what gift they need or would like for those they are going to give that gift to and they don't need a list. Another reason is based on the idea that a sentimental gift or an experience gift can be better than a generic gift.
But studies continue to show that most people prefer to receive the gifts they asked for most of the time.

The stress and anxiety that comes with choosing a gift

Family dynamics

Favoritism. Families with multiple children have an additional source of stress: the need to ensure that gifts are given fairly. A child who received fewer gifts than his brother may have negative feelings, may feel disadvantaged, although no one intended this. The same problem can occur between other family members.

Divorce and the rules. In the case of a divorce, consider setting the same budget for birthdays and other important holidays related to children, so that the gifts given do not turn into a competition between the parents.

Worries about what others think

Another psychological factor related to the choice of a gift has to do with what the person who receives the gift will think, as well as those around him. What will the gift say about your relationship? Is it too expensive a gift? Or is it too cheap? Not carefully chosen enough? What will others think about my choice? The anxiety felt vis-à-vis the way in which you will be judged according to the gifts given can make you fear any occasion in which gifts are given.
Although gifts may seem complex, it is important to remember that we cannot control how others respond to the gifts we give. Asking someone what gift they would like to receive using an online gift registry or simply through good old-fashioned face-to-face conversation can significantly reduce stress.